Do Calories Really Exist?

Dude. I burned 1,194 calories at the gym today. And I wasn't even giving it my all because I am still (or, more accurately, again) feeling sick to my tummy. And apparently I looked queasy, because my friend Nikki asked after class, "Are you okay, Jen? You don't look like you have your normal...oomph today. Although your eyebrows look great, did you get them done?" (FYI: This is possibly my favorite bizarrely random gym comment EVER. Oh - and no, I did not get them done.)

But back to the 1,194 calories. I mean...hello? Can someone please explain to me again why I am fat? Oh. Yeah. Because I eat a lot. But seriously - today was NOT an atypical day. I usually take kickboxing and weights on Thursdays, so if I've been consistently burning that many calories, then how many calories must I be taking in? Scary to think about. I remember when I first started jogging a few years ago, the weight just flew off my body. (Like, literally. If I did more than a mile, I'd start seeing pockets of cellulite soaring past my eyes.) I ate like it was my job when I was jogging and still lost 30 pounds. Fast forward to post-35-years-old, and I've been exercising consistently for over two years and have actually gained weight.

So, so depressing. The only solution I can seem to find (other than to stop consuming Hostess Cupcakes like they are multivitamins) is to get back to jogging. I have new running shoes, and I definitely plan to use them while in Florida with the family next week. My goal is to do 15 miles while on vacation - which is a completely conservative and realistic goal. And let me just say now that if I don't see at least one freckle fall listlessly from my skin while pounding the pavement, I'm trading this body in for a new one.

Back in the land of the living

Exercise:
2 miles jogging, 1 hr. 10 minutes strength training
approximately 1,000 cal burned (forgot to turn on my stupid monitor during jogging)
16 min light/29 min mod/25 min hard

Couple of Notes:
a) I'm gonna stop keeping track of everything I eat on the blog and see if it affects what I lose. If it does, I'll add it back in. It's not that I'm afraid to disclose...it's just boring. Am I copping out? Feel free to weigh in (pun intended) and tell me what you think.
b) I am gonna keep track of my exercise though, just for me - so if you don't know what my HR zone notes mean, no worries, you can skip that part.

Today hasn't been the best day. I broke down and ate McDonald's for lunch. I curse you, golden arches...how you plague me. I was born and raised on fast food, and unfortunately the craving has continued into adulthood. I know fully functioning, mostly-normal adults who NEVER eat fast food. My reaction to this phenomenon is akin to how most would respond upon glimpsing an alien on their doorstep...that is to say, I'm usually dumbstruck. The idea of no fast food is just so foreign to me. Staying away from it is quite a challenge, and sometimes I fall off the wagon and right into Ronald McD's clown-freak lap. Today was one of those days.

I finally got back to the gym today after dealing with and recovering from the flu. Sophie's still all snotty and phlegmy, but she was pretty insistent about how our day should go. Her first words this morning were, "Take Emma school, then go gym. Now!" Felt good to work up a sweat again. (I mean, other than the sweat I seem to "work up" just walking up and down my stairs.)

Tonight is my first rehearsal for The Crucible, a new play I'm doing that opens in March. I really want to drop some of this weight before opening night. Even 10 more pounds would do a lot for my self-confidence. The play takes place in 1622, and I don't think the Puritans were known for being fat asses, you know what I mean? Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never heard the 17th century described as one of excessive overeating. BUT - I got cast at this size, and if need be, I'll go onstage at this size. However, don't get me wrong - today's McDonald's aside, I'm gonna work really hard between now and then to make Elizabeth Proctor look more "robust" and less "ginormous." I always get really nervous before a first rehearsal...just meeting all the new people and reading my part aloud in front of everyone for the first time. And this is a 19 person cast, so there are a lot of new people to meet. Wish me luck! My modest goal for this evening: Not To Suck.

Flu Begone!

Oh Lordy, it's been a rough couple of days. The stomach flu has come to visit, which just reiterates to me how much I hate unwelcome guests. I was down for the count for most of Thursday and part of yesterday, but now seem to be feeling better. The bug has its hooks in Emma now, and I'm just crossing my fingers the other two members of the Mathews clan remain unscathed.

I'm not bothering with a food log for those days (or this): suffice it to say that I didn't eat much, and then I ate a lot, and then I didn't eat much again, and anyway...do calories even count when you are sick? (I think no-calories-on-sick-days is right up there with abolishing-daylight-savings-time in terms of pressing social issues, and I plan to write my congressman about both as soon as I've caught up on all my TV shows.)

So, I'm taking it easy today as I enjoy one more day of bland foods and no exercise. Tomorrow, it's back into the swing of things. But some good news: I weighed in at Jenny Craig today and lost another 3.4 pounds. Whoo-hoo! I consider this a HUGE success considering my seven days of gluttony last week, and I'm still not sure how I did it. I think the flu definitely helped.

Onward and upward, friends.

Nausea is a great way to lose weight!

Consumption:
3/4 banana
2 bites of apple
string cheese
JC bbq chicken pizza

Exercise:
Elliptical and strength training
1 hr, 25 min (36 light/39 mod/8 hard)
672 calories burned
(Yes, I'm putting that heart rate monitor to good use!)

Oh, so sick, so sick...about 1 hour after eating JC BBQ Chicken Pizza - or as I like to call it, BBQ a la cardboard - all hell broke loose. Must go to bed for long long long time.

Hump It

Consumption:
JC Blueberry Muffin
Glass oj with emergenC
banana
protein bar
lots o' water
hard boiled egg
cojack string cheese
spring mix salad
LC cheese lasagna & chicken breast (to replace the truly heinous-smelling JC Chicken Carbonara that I threw in the trash)
JC cookies & cream cheesecake
glass of milk

Exercise:
About 15 minutes of interval walking/jogging/cycling

Started off the day with some cardio coaching at my fabulous gym. I learned how to best utilize my heart rate monitor and discovered that my friend Gen and I are basically the same person. (Similar height, weight, heart rate, fitness level...although she's younger, with better boobs and kick ass hair. Somewhere, I got cheated.) I gotta tell ya, hearing that 47% of your body is comprised of fat is a great morale booster, especially considering I've been working my ass off (not literally, unfortunately) at the gym for two years. Makes me wonder what my body fat percentage was pre-exercise. I must have been one step away from Richard Simmons and a forklift.

Ended the day with a restorative rehearsal/gab session with my friend Brighid. I've spent most of today hungry, and by 9pm I really wanted to stop at Walgreens for an Oatmeal Creme Pie hit. But I resolutely drove straight home, mostly because I'd just enjoyed a hearty dose of Brighid-Style Gush (for the unfamiliar, B-S Gush ROCKS) about how proud she was of me. I seem to have little trouble letting myself down, but disappointing those I care about is a harder sell. So, I settled for a JC cheesecake instead and am now going to bed with a growling tummy but peaceful heart.

Grade: A

We failed Jenny...but we sure had fun doing it!

Food:
Many, many, many chocolate chip cookies
Many, many glasses of wine
Cheese fries
Two shrimp wantons
A carrot
Three bottles of water
A glass of orange juice

Exercise:
None officially, but I did run around my house like a maniac all day cleaning, so that has to count for something. If I'd been wearing my heart rate monitor I'd actually know what it counted for, but alas...I don't know how to use it. Glad I'm getting some cardio coaching bright and early tomorrow morning. Cock-a-doodle-SWEAT! (Did I mention I've had some wine?)

Fun:
Lots. Yes, I failed again at Jenny. But I don't much care because:

• I had a really great time with eight of my favorite women, including my best friend, my oldest friend, my newest friend, and all the fabulous ladies who fall in between.
  
• I got a whole bunch of Arbonne products at an unbeatable discount, PLUS...new books!
• Mama drank herself some lover-ly chardonnay this fine evening, so all is sunshine and chocolate right now.

Book Swap Party = SUCCESS!

So...

Daily Grade, Food-wise: F (as in Fail or Fuck It, take your pick)
Daily Grade, Fun-wise: C- (before 7pm), A+ (after 7pm)

See ya tomorrow, Jenny.